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(Left) Here we see the defending team attempting to score what is known as a 'Hagball', names in honour of the inventor of the sport
Hurricane Heroes in Copyright Clash

SEE YOU IN COURT

Maverick midfielder Haggis has slapped an injunction on saucy striker Cryney after the latter was spotted SHOOTING HIS MOUTH OFF claiming he had invented the craze known as Valderrama.

The sport, which is sweeping the nation, was invented by Haggis a few weeks back during a particularly lackluster session of Heady V's. And now the playground craze has become BIG BUSINESS, With EA SPORTS reportedly developing a PS3 and XBOX version of the game which has gone from underground to overground.

WOMBLING FREE

The madness doesn't end there, as it was reported in last week's HEAT magazine that a major Hollywood studio is currently developing a Teen drama based on the rags to glory tale of an inner city youth from Westside LA who finds redemption through the sport after his momma is shot by a crack dealer. The $80m project is attracting interest from SEVERAL A-LIST STARS, with heart-throb Freddie Prinze Jr. allegedly spotted in Marple, shadowing Haggis while researching his role in the film.

However, a bitter row has now erupted over who invented the noble sport, with Haggis signing up a prestigious big city law firm to help him assert ownership over the lucrative merchandising rights. Cryney will be represented by Cornhead, and as dialogue between the two has now spiralled into the realm of insults and cat-calls, a date in court seems inevitable.

 

 

RULES OF VALDERRAMA

1) There are two teams of two. one team attacks first, whilst the other team defends.

2) The defending team consists of a stick-keeper and a defender.

3) The attacking team must score three goals to win.

4) If the attacking team hits three wides, the defending team automatically wins.

5) Both attacking players must touch the ball before scoring.

6) If the defender intercepts, he is allowed to SHOOT FIRST TIME (after a controlling touch) into a goal to the side of the pitch.

7) If the defender scores, it is known as HAGBALL. a 'wide' is added to the attacking team's total.

8) If the defender kicks the ball behind his own goal, he must succesfully answer a trivia question about Carlos Valderrama posed by the attacking team. failure to answer correctly results in a wide being knocked off.


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